Based on this quote, it is clear that behavioural psychology is the most delicious part of psychology. Yes, in this world, behavioural psychology is simply the tastiest. However, in other worlds, like Planet Zorg, many refute this statement and say things like "I prefer llamas". Llamas have bad hygiene, whereas Behavioural Psychologist do not. Please keep this in mind before you jump to such radical and rebellious conclusions.
In a litteral sense, behavioural research can be delicious. Take this Ivon Pavlov guy (he tries to have a better name than mine but he fails miserably. Look at the margin of error between the letters).. he started this cult wherein people torture cute little animal monsters by taunting them with food and then not giving it to them. You do not believe me? Well, as this is the first lesson of scholarly worth, I believe that you should believe what I believe which is that he hates the animals. Basically he took this dog and then used him to concoct this ridiculous theory about drooling. Seriously, I hate this guy.
However, because I too am a really good psychologist and have good backgrounds in the topic, I will reiterate the way he explains the theory of Classical Conditioning.
Is like a recipe. First you have a dog. But in case I get sued, because dogs are owned by so many people and I don't want to hurt their copyrights, I will use the wild Catiger ( a hybrid cat and tiger creature that lives solely on Planet Zorg. I harvest them as a hobbie.)
When presented with a bunny, the Catiger begins to drool. The drooling is termed the Unconditioned Response, because a Catiger will always drool when it sees a bunny because bunnies are delicious and juicy and give tongues small orgasms. Catiger tongues I mean. I prefer llamas. Anyways.
So the bunny is termed the Unconditioned Stimulus because it makes the Catiger drool no matter what. Sort of like porn and what it does to--
Moving on.
LOL.
So yes, we have an Unconditioned Stimulus creating an Unconditioned Response. Is cool yes? Yes. I bet you feel super smart. Sorry, but I am super smart, you are just copying me. OK.
So then we show the Catiger a hammer alone. The catiger looks at you like a stupid thing and begins to consider you as a potential bunny rabbit. He begins to rip you to pieces. Another psychologist comes in to replace you because psychologists care about other psychologist... Basically, the Catiger does not care what a hammer is. But psychologists do! (We care about everything. Love me). The hammer is the Conditioned Stimulus, or the thing we want to make meaningful. "BUT HOW DOC CHEEZ DO WE DO DIS BRO FROM ANODA MO?" says student.
Well this is when the torture begins. We start to show the Catiger the hammer with the food. The Catiger drools. We keep pairing the hammer with the bunny 50 times. Basically the Catiger is almost drowning in its own saliva. Is bad, but we don't care. Finally, we remove the bunny and just show the hammer.
"OMFG, THE CATIGER IZ DROOLIN, BUT DER IZ NO FUD? WUT?" says student.
Now the Conditioned Stimulus, which at first yielded no Response, now yields the Unconditioned Response. We term the post-conditioning response of drooling as the Conditioned Response. AND THEN WE LAUGH LIKE CRAZY MAN AND MAKE THE CATIGER EAT THE HAMMER.
No.
We do not. What we could do, however, is expand this knowledge into very clever ways. For instance, if you want to make your boyfriend do his laundry, you give him cookies.
So...
Cookies=Unconditioned Stimulus
Laundry= Conditioned Stimulus
Happiness= Unconditioned Response
Cookies= OMG COOKIES I SO HAPPY.
(Cookies+Laundry)*50=OMG COOKIES I SO HAPPY.
Laundry= OMG COOKIES I SO HAPPY.
and then everyone is happy. See? Doc Cheez helps the people with life.
**AFTERWORDS: I tried to hire Larz Bullfly to make beautiful diagrams of this process. But she's too drunk. So I will ask her later. She does not apologize.
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